“These last few days,” he said calming down a bit now, “I have wished and prayed that I would do anything and I mean absolutely anything to undo what I had done, to undo the hurt that I had caused to the one person who had made me happy. But the truth is-I can’t. I am forced to stand by and regret the past like everyone else is. But it doesn’t mean I can’t improve the present. And that’s why I came back into her life.”
“So that you could remind her of the hurt that she had taken so long to over come,” I said finally feeling my own voice.
“No!” he said looking implicitly at me. “By telling her how much I regretted what I did and that I would be there for her if ever the need arise.”
“How generous of you!” I said sarcastically.
He looked at me for a few moments as if I was some sort of slug and then said, “You really hate me…don’t you?”
“With all my heart,” I answered.
“Why?” he asked.
“Why!” I said looking at him. “Does that even need an answer?”
“Did Anjali ever tell you what actually happened between us?” he asked now changing the topic all of a sudden.
“Not really,” I said. “Thanks to you, she was too hurt to even mention your name. The one time she did-she cried. And I preferred her not crying than to hear about you.”
“How very noble of you!” Mohit answered almost sarcastically.
He then said, “I loved her. And I mean loved her the way they write in romance novels with all the emotions involved. I had never been as happy with my life as I had been with her. It seemed like every moment with her was the next chapter of a book titled ‘And they lived happily ever after’ and to me-it never seemed that we could break up. There was no way this relationship wouldn’t work out. It was almost set in stone. I knew this was the girl I wanted to marry, to have kids with and to grow old with. She was perfect in every way and I had promised myself that I would never ruin what I had with her. That this is the way it would always be. That this is the way it was always supposed to be.”
“Then why did you?” I said intrigued by Mohit’s tale.
“This is my final year,” he answered. “And I knew that after this, we would have to live apart for a few years before we eventually got together forever. But I wanted to spend every moment of this last year with her. I wanted to wake up seeing her by my side, wanted to hold her in my arms as she went to sleep, wanted to make love to her as if there was no tomorrow. And I presumed that being a modern girl-she wouldn’t have a problem sleeping with me because she loved me as much as I loved her.”
There was look of distance in Mohit’s eyes as if looking at something so far away that no one else could see it.
“And?” I said prompting him. “She wasn’t!”
“One year of intense romance, of stealing kisses in the library, of grabbing her from behind just as she was about to enter he class so that I could kiss her before I went through my horrid classes,” his description of their romance almost brought a nauseating feeling and I wanted to scream at him to stop.
“Alright-alright!” I said full of jealosy. “You don’t have to describe your romantic story in details. I am happy with the bridged version.”
Mohit smiled at this outburst from me. “Well-basically…we were together for a year and we discussed everything! Everything but the prospect of sleeping together!”
“But you didn’t just want to sleep together-did you? You actually wanted to live together!” I said glaring at him.
“I wanted that with the best of intentions,” Mohit said defending himself. “I would have no problem going to a hotel room or going to a friends flat and using the bedroom-but it would have been she who would have felt awkward. By living together-I was just telling her how serious I was about her. How much I really wanted this to work.”
“And I guess you two living together wouldn’t raise any eyebrows huh? They would just think how sweet it was that you two were living together and not wonder what a slut Anjali was!” I said once again bitter.
Mohit smiled again. “So you see…don’t you? That it was the society that was to be blamed for our break up! Yes-I was at fault and I am not shying away from that. But it’s the society which makes these stupid rules. I loved Anjali. And she loved me. And if neither of us had a problem living together or sharing the same bed-why should it bother anyone else? But it would have. It would have bothered a lot of people and so for a girl like Anjali-the sweet lovely Anjali-the thought of a live in relationship at that point in her life was unthinkable!”
“I don’t blame her!” I said with full earnestness.
“Neither do I! I talked to her about it and inititally she said she just wasn’t comfortable with the idea of pre marital sex leave alone having a live-in relationship. I could deal with that. And I did. I put the whole idea at the back of my head for I didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. I wanted this to work more than anything else in the world. And not sleeping with her till marriage seemed a small price to pay to be with her forever. And I was ready to pray that price!”
I was surprised at the solemness in Mohit’s voice. He sounded so genuine about it…about how the perfect relationship had crumbled right in front of his eyes and yet, he couldn’t do anything about it. “And then?” I asked trying to hide the curiosity from my voice.
Mohit stared blankly at me as if recollecting every inch of hurt he had suffered from this relationship. “She broke my heart,” he said simply.
“What!” I cried out. “She broke your heart?” I said astounded. ‘Was this guy on drugs?’ I thought to myself. The entire town of Manipal said something else and he was convinced about something else. ‘Delusional!’ I thought!
But Mohit continued his story. “She had told me that she didn’t believe in pre marital sex. And I had let the matter go. But then one day, she came to me and said that she hadn’t been entirely truthful to me. I was concerned because despite the fact that we both had tried to let the matter of a live-in relationship go, things had still been a little awkward between us. I told her that I was never going to force her into anything she didn’t want to because I loved her more than she could even imagine. And then-she just looked at me teary eyed and said that it wasn’t the fact that she was uncomfortable with the idea of pre-marital sex. She wasn’t. She believed that if she was convinced that she had found the right guy-then she wouldn’t mind sleeping with him before marriage. I still remember hear her say those words and feeling confused as to what she actually meant. For a moment my brain had stopped working. And then,” he said now tears almost in a monotonous tone, “ she said that she wasn’t sure if I was that right guy and hence…and hence…she couldn’t.” He finished almost breaking down reliving those memories with each one pricking more than the previous one.
“And…you felt betrayed?” I added.
“To me-her saying that she wasn’t sure I was the right guy was as good as her telling that it would never work between us. Because I had been so sure that she was the one. And because I had been so sure that she felt the same way that to realize that she didn’t…that she still had doubts about relationship-I just fell like I had been broken into a thousand pieces. I realize now that I maybe took it harder than I should have-that she didn’t mean to say that she didn’t love me but just that she wasn’t ready yet. But for me-at that time it was as good as being told that I wasn’t good enough to live anymore. I didn’t feel betrayed-no…that would be too harsh a word. I just felt not good enough for her. I felt that maybe she had been hoping to find someone better than me and that she had unfortunately been stuck with me in some sort of curse on her by the universe. And that’s why I felt hurt. That she was obliging me by being in this relationship without actually wanting to be in it. So I did what I felt at that time was the only way to teach her a lesson for taking me for a ride all this while. For hoping to find someone better while dating me as just some sort of exercise-almost as she was having pity on me. And so…I broke up with her.”
There was an uneasy silence as Mohit finally exhaled a breath of air as he if he had been too caught up reliving those memories to even breathe. I looked around for a moment as if there was someone else in the room but to my relief there was no one. I don’t know why I did that. Maybe because I wasn’t sure what to make of the story that had just been narrated to me or maybe simply because I just didn’t know how I should react to his story. I felt a bit sympathetic towards Mohit for what he had been through but that in no way justified what he had done. There was no doubt he was horribly wrong in what he had done but the penance he showed for it almost made me believe that maybe…just maybe I had been a bit harsh on him. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I had made him out to be. And maybe he did deserve atleast forgivness for the sincerity he showen now.
“Man!” I said after a while. “You have issues.”
Mohit smiled. “I know.”
“It doesn’t make you right in any way though. You still did a horrible thing,” I said.
“I know that too,” Mohit answered.
I was about to say something when suddenly there was a huge commotion in the hallway almost as if a group of people were issuing battle cries. I turned towards the door to see what was happening but before I could register anything, a group of men ran into the house-shouting and screaming as if they had come to a war. The men were shouting ‘Halla Bol’ as they entered the house and were carrying bats, hockey sticks, chains, belts and anything else they could use as a weapon. I immediately cowered down trying to hide from these seemingly unruly men until I looked up and found that I recognized almost all of them. Heck-I did recognize all of them. There was Rishabh holding a bat and hitting anything he could find in sight. Aarav was swishing a belt in the air acting as if he had come to a martial arts show and trying to impress the judges. There were my other friends and people who were well-just good at breaking bones and who I had made acquaintance with over football matches or just drinking competitions. And leading the pack was Virat-wearing a white striped cotton shirt which he had deliberately kept open to show his vest within and perhaps his manliness. The shir was folded upto his elbow and the color was raised apparently all in order to show his brand of Bhai giri. Trust Virat to go over board. He had come to fight and he wasn’t going to do it without being in the proper get up.
As soon as he had entered he saw Mohit and ran towards him almost giving him a spine buster to the floor. Mohit-still bruising from yesterday;s fight and having the day lights scared out of him didn’t even get a chance to prepare for the onslaught. He went down in the force of Virat’s weight. Virat the pulled him up and punched him right in the face before screaming-“Tell me where you have hidden Rahul, you son of a bitch. Or else I swear you ain’t leaving the house till I break all the bones in your body!” The crowd behind gave a huge roar of approval by banging their weapons on the dining table.
Virat held Mohit by the throat and pushed him towards the wall. “Tell me where he is!” Virat screamed. The crowd screamed with him.
Mohit tried to open his mouth but Virat was holding his throat too tightly to let him speak at all. He tried to lift his hand and made some signs but Virat was looking only at Mohit’s face. “Alright you son of a bitch!” Virat screamed after he didn’t get any answer from Mohit which was more due to Virat than anything else. Virat took a posture similar to Aamir Khan in Mangal Pandey before for the final fight and faced his supposed ‘disciples.’ “Tonight!” he screamed at them as they all looked bewildered unaware that there was supposed to be a speech involved in the show too. This was going to be good. “We have come to free a friend. Free him from one of the greatest tyrants that Manipal has ever known!” Oh My God! I thought to myself. He was actually going to do this. “From a man whose oppression has spread far and wide!” Every person in the room was looking at each other wondering what on earth was happening. Some one even started scratching his hair in this confusion. “And today!” Virat continued his monologue, “We have come to end this oppression.” The eyes of every person in the room jus grew wider and wider in shock and confusion.
I decided that if I didn’t put an end this now, quite a few people could be jumping from the balcony today. And I just couldn’t risk that. “Virat!” I slowly said as he continued his monologue. A few heads turned. Virat stopped midway in a sentence and looked in my direction. He stared at me as if he had seen a ghost and I smiled and waved at him. Then, just as I had expected, he screamed-“Rahulllllllll!! Thank God you are here.” Thank God he didn’t come hugging me and taking me in his arms. Instead he grabbed Mohit tightly by the throat and looking at me said, “What did this bastard do to you? Just tell me what this bastard did so that I can cut him up and sell his parts to the meat market!”
“I am fine Virat,” I answered smiling.
“You sure?” Virat said looking a bit surprised. “Because you can just say the word and this guy is mince meat!” he said indicating towards Mohit. As if to support Virat’s claims, the remaining people in the room held their weapons alogt in the air and roared.
Mohit continued to struggle and tried to free himself. God, how I wish I could tell Virat to strangle the guy to death. But murder still remained a criminal offence punishable by law in India. We had to do something about the laws of our country!
“Its ok, Virat!” I said reluctantly. “I think you should let go of him now!” I said indicating towards Mohit. “He just provided me first aid!”
“That’s it?” Virat said looking stunned as he released Mohit from his grasp. “He provided you first aids?”
“Yeah!” I answered. “And a little bit of scotch!” I added just for fun.
“Scotch?” Virat said and every one’s head turned towards me. If there was one thing that could turn more heads of boys than the mention of a mini skirted chick-then it’s the mention of imported alcohol. And scotch was almost on top of that list.
“Yeah!” I said smiling at each of the faces. They were all looking at me expectantly waiting to disclose the location of the hidden treasure. I though had no such intentions. “How did you know I was here?” I finally asked.
“I met Anjali at KC!” Virat said looking at me. “I didn’t remember much from yesterday night except that we had got drunk and you had been in a fight. She saw me and told me that you were at Mohit Bansal’s place if I was looking for you. And well-I just made sure I had the cavalry with me when I came to rescue you.” He looked around impressively at the men behind him as if he was a general of a victorious infantry beaming proudly at his soldiers.
“Well-you had nothing to worry about,” I answered Virat. “Mohit was just helping me out and being nice to me after beating me to pulp.”
“I can see that,” Virat said looking at my stitches.
Mohit stood in one corner-completely silent at the sight of all these guy with weapons in their hands. He didn’t want to say anything that could piss any one of them off. He could have taken on one of them maybe…but all of them and with weapons-not a chance in hell.
“Let’s leave then,” Virat said coming towards me and giving me a hand.
“No!” I said looking up at Virat. Virat seemed surprised. “I have some unfinished business here,” I said looking at Mohit.
Initially Virat didn’t seem happy by the deceision but then he smiled and said, “I can understand that! You want us to stay in case anything happens?” he said glaring at Mohit.
“No!” I answered. “It’s fine! Rest assured-I think we are done with physical fights for now!”
Virat didn’t seem to agree with me. He wanted to stay if not for me-then for enhancing his own reputation as a fighter. “You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah-pretty much!” I then looked at the rest of the crown. “Thanks for coming guys! But I can take it from here!”
The crowd seemed disappointed that they had not been able to break a few bones. Despite that, they all began to turn to leave the house.
Virat turned back and walked towards Mohit. Mohit almost cowered down at the sight of him coming towards him. But Virat just extended his hand and very awkwardly said, “Thanks for helping my friend!” Mohit seemed unsure what to make of the extended hand at first but then decided to take it. “You are welcome,” he answered hesitatingly.
“And sorry for the whole-you know…” he said talking about his violence toward Mohit. “The whole ‘I will kill you if you don’t tell me where is Rahul’ thing,” he managed to complete.
“Not a problem,” Mohit sad touching his neck and a look of fear still in his eyes.
Virat turned to leave and was almost down the hallway when he turned again and walked upto Mohit. Mohit cowered down again. “Um..about the scotch…?” he said looking at Mohit.
Mohit indicated towards the mini bar on the wall. Virat saw the mini bar and his eyes lit up as if he had just inherited the combined wealth of the Ambani brothers. Every other head turned towards the wall too and then immediately towards Virat. Virat looked at Aarav and nodded. Aarav moved towards the mini bar. Virat turned back to Mohit and said, ‘if you don’t mind we’ll be taking the scotch with us. Feeling a bith thirsty after all the screaming!”
“All yours,” Mohit said still scared. Aarav picked up the two bottles of scotch on the shelf and handed one to Rishabh.before nodding at Virat. Now every one in the room was looking at the two bottles of scotch.
“Thanks!” Virat said offering his hand once again. “Welcome!” Mohit answered in a shrill voice taking the hand.
Virat turned back and headed towards the door. “Lets leave boys,” he said grabbing the bottle of scotch from Aarav’s hand and holding it like a prized jewel. Everyone else began to leave Mohit’s flat. Mohit looked on, still reeling from the shock of the entire incident as all of them left. As Virat was about to leave, he came near me and whispering in my ears said, “When I met Anjali, I kinda found her lipstick misplaced a bit from her lips. I was wondering if you had anything to do with that!” Virat then moved his head up again and looked at me smiling. I just didn’t knw how to react but just gave him a sly smile. Damn! I was blushing. I was actually blushing. Virat winked at me and left the house.
“Sorry for that!” I said a few minutes after the gang had left the house.
“Man-you got some friends!” Mohit answered straigtening his hair.
“Yeah!” I smiled. “They care about me!”
“You are lucky then!” Mohit said almost smiling.
“I know!” I said. Wow-we actually managed 3 lines of conversation without being nasty to each other. We really were turning a corner here.
“If you know you are lucky-then can I ad vise you something?” Mohit asked.
‘Advise?’ I thought to myself. ‘If by advise he meant since you already have so many good friends why don’t you leave Anjali to me, I swear I was calling the ‘Halla Bol’ gang back. And this time there would be niceties.’
“Depends!” I said trying not to sound hostile.
“On what?”
“On what the advise is?”
“You wanna hear it?”
“I don’t know but I guess I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Don’t worry,” Mohit said, “I am not going to start a monologue here. All I want to tell you is that if you know how lucky you are to have the people in your life that you do-then don’t screw it up.”
“Meaning?” I said confused as to what exactly he meant. He was actually giving me friendly advise here. If this wasn’t a day of surprised-then what was!
Mohit just smiled at me as if hiding a secret that I will unearth soon but wasn’t ready to find out what the secret was yet.
“You will understand soon enough,” Mohit answered. “Now come-I think I should drop you back to the hostel before your friends invade this flat again. I wanna make sure there isn’t another attempt on my life.”
For a few moments there, as I got up from the couch I couldn’t help but smile at what Mohit said. Or perhaps I smiled at Mohit himself. I couldn’t help but wonder that maybe…just maybe Mohit Bansal wasn’t all that bad after all.
As Mohit dropped me back to the hostel, we noticed that the Revels banners were already on display on the various buildings in the campus. Some of the first year students were now spraying the street of Kamath circle with the word ‘REVELS’ and it meant that our cultural festival was now a few days away. It would be my 3rd REVELS and every year, Revels in many ways was the high point of our college days. It means 4 days of holidays and a host of cultural programmes which in those 4 days would be occupy almost every corner of Revels. The highlight of Revels was the fashion show, which meant that there would be a slew of mini skirted chicks walking the ramp and every boy in college would be there to see the Manipal chicks in all their glory. I was no different.
Sheetal was standing in the middle of KC, shouting at the first years to do the job faster and better which didn’t really mean anything because they could have painted the Mona Lisa there and Sheetal still would shout at them. She was just taking advantage of being a senior and that meant you were never satisfied by what the juniors did. It’s just the way the world goes. Those juniors spraying on the street would be doing the same a year from now. So you couldn’t really blame Sheetal.
I asked Mohit to drop me off at KC itself and then walking upto Sheetal, I said, “Who was mad enough to put you in the organizing committee??”
Sheetal turned and said, “Oh shut up! I won’t kill them…promise!” and gave me a hug.
“I hope so,” I answered as she pecked me on the cheek.
As we turned to the bunch of first years toiling under the sun, I said, “so what happens to the fashion show?”
“Nothing,” Sheetal replied. “I am still there, don’t worry.”
“And this?” I asked nodding towards the first years.
“It’s just a favour to Shaunak,” she replied.
“Shaunak who?” I asked
“Shaunak Khatija,” she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “The man in charge of Revels and our cultural secretary.”
“Aagh!” I feigned ignorance. “Keep me away from the politics.”
“Ha-ha!” she said in mock laughter. “He just needed someone to over look this and and asked me as a favour. I complied.”
“Does he know that you treat the freshies the way Hitler treated Jews?” I asked mocking her.
She turned red. “If I ever do turn into Hitler, Rahul Agarwal, the first person I would be putting in a concentration camp is you.”
“Ouch!” I answered. “So you already have plans of having concentration camps in your reign of terror?”
“Oh Shut up!” she said and hit me on the harm.
“So?” she said looking up at me after a while.
“So what?” I asked.
“You are not gonna tell me?” she asked looking harried.
“Tell you what?” I asked acting puzzled though I had a faint idea what she was referring to.
“Oh-so we are gonna play this game…are we now?” she said though she sounded as if she was getting irritated.
“Play what game?” I asked still acting confused.
She released her hands in frustration and said, “I just don’t believe this. I just can’t believe this.”
“Believe what Sheetal?” I asked seriously
“Nothing…absolutely nothing!” she said now completely irritated and turned towards the first years.
Then suddenly she barked out at one of the first years. “Hey! You!” she screamed and the first years suddenly shivered.
The boy she was pointing to look petrified as he caught Sheetal’s stare. “Me maam?” he asked completely bewildered.
“No jackass! Your freaking Ghost,” she said in complete sarcasm and the guy looked so scared he would pee in his pants any moment. “What’s your name?” she shouted at him.
“V…v..Virat, maam,” he said and I swear to God I was going to die of laughter right there. The guy was dead…just pure dead.
“Oh perfect!” Sheetal said a bit shocked at the co-incidence. Then she balked right up and said, “So Virat-when a senior tells you something, ain’t you supposed to listen?”
“Y…yes maam,” freshie Virat managed to stammer.
“Then why on earth are you chit-chatting with that girl over there?” she asked referring to a cute girl who was spraying next to Virat.
“Wow! She is cute,” I said trying to control my laughter.
“She is a friend maam,” freshie Virat answered.
“Listen sweetheart,” she told Virat with dribbles of sarcasm, “I know you want to get into her pants but this isn’t the place to work on that. If you wanna woo her, make out with her or sleep with her you take her out to a nice little dinner-and not talk to her when you are supposed to be working while you stare at her breasts!”
God! That was cruel even for Sheetal Malhar. She had just nipped in the bud any chance that Virat had romancing that cute girl! Virat looked as if he was going to cry any moment now. The rest of the freshies were just staring completely dumbfounded. “Now get back to work!” she said and Virat ran back as quickly as he could.
“You are so cruel Sheetal,” I said in a serious tone.
“Yeah? Sue me if you want,” she said still furious.
“All because I wouldn’t tell you something?” I asked still not believeing the lashing she had just given to poor Virat.
“Well-that and the fact that his name turns out be Virat!” she said and I almost saw a hint of a smile on her face.
“Haha!” I said now smiling. “I so knew he was getting it once I hear his name.”
“So are you going to tell me or not?” Sheetal asked once again.
“Alright, why don’t you leave these poor kids alone for a while and we will go talk some where,” I said putting my arms around her shoulder.
“I could do that,” she said smiling as she put her arms around mine and we started walking towards the College.
“And what about your new friend Virat?” I asked.
“Oh don’t worry! I will treat him after the work is over and then find out all about that girl he seems so interested in and help him ‘patofy’ her,” she said giving me a grin.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I said, “I knew you weren’t such a bad person Sheetal Malhar.”
She punched me in the arm once again and said, “Shut up! You are still going in the concentration camp!”
Sheetal had been sitting in her room when her door suddenly opened and to her complete shock, standing inside her room was Anjali. She looked hassled, as if she had been bitten by a snake or more likely she had done something horrible wrong and now she just didn’t know how to correct that mistake. She continued standing in the room, not moving an inch, waiting perhaps for Sheetal to say something.
“Anjali?” Sheetal finally said looking at the exorbitant eyes of the girl standing inside her room yet acting as if she was miles away. Which was completely true for Anjali’s mind kept going back to Mohit’s room, to Rahul and the kiss that they had shared. It was a kiss that had been waiting to happen for a long time yet the circumstances in which it happened didn’t help her at all. The kiss reminded her in so many ways of her first and only kiss with Rahul, way back, in that empty street on the very day that Mohit had choosen to break her heart and crush her spirit forever. Or so she had thought.
For quite some time now, that night which for so long had resembled pain and suffering, had now started to bring a smile to her face. For quite sometime now she remembered that day not for the way Mohit had mocked her love and doubted her integrity, but for the way a completely drunk stranger would find her lying on the street and come and kiss her because his mind told him ‘that this was the best way to get her back to consciousness.’ She would smile at the thought, would smile at Rahul telling her the reason he had kissed her as he ruffled his hair and sheepishly smiled himself.
For sometime now she was sure she was falling in love again. Rahul had entered her life like an angel and had managed to mend her heart, which she though would be impossible. She thought she could never love again the way she loved Mohit but to her complete and utter surprise she had found herself falling for Rahul from the night that they had taken their first walk at KMC Greens. It shouldn’t have been thay way for she really did love Mohit but Rahul’s disarming honesty was so charming that everyday she tried to reason with herself that she couldn’t be falling for a guy so soon, the more she fellin love with him.
She had known about his reputation, about his break-up’s and had tried to use that as an excuse to distance herself from him as much as possible but the truth was she knew that there was more to thin just what the college thought about him. And the way he responded to her, the way he let her in his life, letting her through all his defenses, sheknew that deep inside Rahul was just a child looking for that same love which his mom had shown him and which his mom hersef was unable to get.
She remembered him having a panic attack the first time he had called her and she had foubd it so cute that she had smiled days after remembering the incident. It was there that she first noted alarmingly that she was thinking and smiling about Rahul way more than she actually should. She tried to put her defenses up but somehow she couldn’t help smile everytime the name Rahul crossed her mind. She would just be sitting in the mess, having lunch when she would suddenly start thinking about one of her meetings with Rahul and would be lost in them way after lunch. Sometimes she would stop eating while thinking about Rahul while sometimes she would continue eating from an empty plate, oblivious to everything around her.
She remembered Virat telling him about how he had been unable to gather the courage to even dial her number the first time and she had smiled for hours after that. The fact that a guy who was so famous for his flirtatious ways couldn’t even dial her number or gather the courage to call her out of sheer nervousness-there really couldn’t be anything cuter than that. She would be among her friends when suddenly the image of Rahul trying to dial her number would come up and she would break out laughing completely to the bewilderment of her friends.
And once that happened-she knew…she knew there was no coming back from this. She knew she was falling in love with Rahul Agarwal and nothing could be done to stop it. She accepted it for inside her heart she knew that she wanted this as much as she wanted anything else. She wanted to love Rahul Agarwal, to hold hands with him, to lie in his arms and stare at the stars, to rest her head on his shoulders and forget everything that had ever happened.
When Rahul had jumped inside the Girls hostel to celebrate her birthday, she thought that would be it. That would be the night when he would finally confess and tell her that he loved her. He had seemed so close to doing it so many times now that she was sure he wouldn’t hesitate any longer. Everytime he seemed to finally let her know about his feelings, something always held him back. She later realized it was the fear of losing her that kept him from confessing his love. She wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t lose her, that she would always be with him. All he had to do was just tell her that he loved her. Yet everytime he came close, that fear inside him grew and the confession never came.
On the night of her birthday it seemed that it would finally happen but then it was that same night that Mohit decided to re-enter her life and nothing would be the same again. Her relationship with Rahul started crumbling leading to him deserting her at the beach yesterday. It was almost the repeat of what Mohit had done. Her standing alone there as Rahul walked away from him, for the seond time in her life she had given her heart to someone, she had loved someone-only to be hurt once again. And as she cried herself to sleep that night, she promised herself that she would never love again. That she would never again let a man in her life. Somewhere inside her she had felt love die yesterday and she realized that even if she wanted to, she might not be able to love any other man the way she had loved Rahul. She had never been sure whether she would end up with Mohit and had waited for that relationship to build gradually but with Rahul it was different. She never even had a relationship with Rahul and yet she knew that she wanted to be with him, she knew that she wanted to live the rest of her life with him…she knew that he was the one she had been waiting for.
And yet he did this to her. Of all the people, he did this to her. Judging her even without listening to her. Leaving her when she had needed him the most. She had come for advise that evening, for comfort and all she got was a heart break. And as he walked away from her, she felt a little bit of herself die inside her. She felt the part of her that could love die.
And yet just a day after-finding Rahul sitting on Mohit’s sofa with cuts and brusies, that love inside her was rekindled. All those feelings came back as if they had never been away. And so did the hurt that he had caused her. She tried to stay away from him, to punish him for what she did and she had almost succeeded when he had grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him just when she was about to leave. It was the first time he had done that. The first time he had actually acted like he was her boyfriend and she found herself being pulled towards her automatically. She had wanted him to stop her. She had wanted him to pull her and embrace her and tell her what she meant to him. She had wanted him to look her in the eye and see how much he had hurt her and yet…and yet…how much she still loved him. For she could love nobody else now. She had given her heart and soul to him and there was no coming back from it. And as they stayed staring at each on the other the sofa, her eyes filled with tears of hurt and of love, she had wanted him to kiss her. Her defences crumbled and as his lips touched hers, she gave into his arms for that is where she had wanted to lie for a long long time. It was everything that she had wanted, everything that she had dreamt about and as they kissed-she felt her body free herelf frm her soul as if giving into this sensation was all that she had ever desired.
Hearing Rahul’s name all the feelings rushed back and she found tears forming in her eyes. ‘This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be,’ she thought. This wasn’t how she was supposed to feel after she had just kissed Rahul. She was supposed to feel happy and elevated and heady…she was supposed to feel like a woman in love but somehow she felt miserable, miserable at being confused and at completely understanding what had just happened between her and Rahul. Was that Rahul’s confession? What else could it be? The feelings were clear now, there was no running away from the fact that they both loved ech other and there was no more hiding behind the friendship curtain anymore. She couldn’t forget what had just happened and go back to being good friends with Rahul. Yet was she just supposed to accept Rahul’s love and forget as if yesterday had never happened? Forget that Rahul had refused to listen to her and walked out of her life as if their relationship had meant nothing to him? Forget that he had broken her heart even after knowing what she had been through?
She couldn’t control the tears anymore and hugged Sheetal for support. Sheetal was taken aback but realized all was not right here. Something had happened today and if Rahul had somehow managed to hurt this girl, then she wasn’t going to forgive him either. She had heard about the Malpe beach incident and she had been waiting to get a chance to knock his brain back into his head but it seemed that he had somehow managed to make matters worse even before she got the chance to make them better. She took Anjali in her arms and stroked her shoulder with sympathy. She let Anjali cry for a bit as she realized that perhaps right now she needed to cry more than anything else......
“So that you could remind her of the hurt that she had taken so long to over come,” I said finally feeling my own voice.
“No!” he said looking implicitly at me. “By telling her how much I regretted what I did and that I would be there for her if ever the need arise.”
“How generous of you!” I said sarcastically.
He looked at me for a few moments as if I was some sort of slug and then said, “You really hate me…don’t you?”
“With all my heart,” I answered.
“Why?” he asked.
“Why!” I said looking at him. “Does that even need an answer?”
“Did Anjali ever tell you what actually happened between us?” he asked now changing the topic all of a sudden.
“Not really,” I said. “Thanks to you, she was too hurt to even mention your name. The one time she did-she cried. And I preferred her not crying than to hear about you.”
“How very noble of you!” Mohit answered almost sarcastically.
He then said, “I loved her. And I mean loved her the way they write in romance novels with all the emotions involved. I had never been as happy with my life as I had been with her. It seemed like every moment with her was the next chapter of a book titled ‘And they lived happily ever after’ and to me-it never seemed that we could break up. There was no way this relationship wouldn’t work out. It was almost set in stone. I knew this was the girl I wanted to marry, to have kids with and to grow old with. She was perfect in every way and I had promised myself that I would never ruin what I had with her. That this is the way it would always be. That this is the way it was always supposed to be.”
“Then why did you?” I said intrigued by Mohit’s tale.
“This is my final year,” he answered. “And I knew that after this, we would have to live apart for a few years before we eventually got together forever. But I wanted to spend every moment of this last year with her. I wanted to wake up seeing her by my side, wanted to hold her in my arms as she went to sleep, wanted to make love to her as if there was no tomorrow. And I presumed that being a modern girl-she wouldn’t have a problem sleeping with me because she loved me as much as I loved her.”
There was look of distance in Mohit’s eyes as if looking at something so far away that no one else could see it.
“And?” I said prompting him. “She wasn’t!”
“One year of intense romance, of stealing kisses in the library, of grabbing her from behind just as she was about to enter he class so that I could kiss her before I went through my horrid classes,” his description of their romance almost brought a nauseating feeling and I wanted to scream at him to stop.
“Alright-alright!” I said full of jealosy. “You don’t have to describe your romantic story in details. I am happy with the bridged version.”
Mohit smiled at this outburst from me. “Well-basically…we were together for a year and we discussed everything! Everything but the prospect of sleeping together!”
“But you didn’t just want to sleep together-did you? You actually wanted to live together!” I said glaring at him.
“I wanted that with the best of intentions,” Mohit said defending himself. “I would have no problem going to a hotel room or going to a friends flat and using the bedroom-but it would have been she who would have felt awkward. By living together-I was just telling her how serious I was about her. How much I really wanted this to work.”
“And I guess you two living together wouldn’t raise any eyebrows huh? They would just think how sweet it was that you two were living together and not wonder what a slut Anjali was!” I said once again bitter.
Mohit smiled again. “So you see…don’t you? That it was the society that was to be blamed for our break up! Yes-I was at fault and I am not shying away from that. But it’s the society which makes these stupid rules. I loved Anjali. And she loved me. And if neither of us had a problem living together or sharing the same bed-why should it bother anyone else? But it would have. It would have bothered a lot of people and so for a girl like Anjali-the sweet lovely Anjali-the thought of a live in relationship at that point in her life was unthinkable!”
“I don’t blame her!” I said with full earnestness.
“Neither do I! I talked to her about it and inititally she said she just wasn’t comfortable with the idea of pre marital sex leave alone having a live-in relationship. I could deal with that. And I did. I put the whole idea at the back of my head for I didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. I wanted this to work more than anything else in the world. And not sleeping with her till marriage seemed a small price to pay to be with her forever. And I was ready to pray that price!”
I was surprised at the solemness in Mohit’s voice. He sounded so genuine about it…about how the perfect relationship had crumbled right in front of his eyes and yet, he couldn’t do anything about it. “And then?” I asked trying to hide the curiosity from my voice.
Mohit stared blankly at me as if recollecting every inch of hurt he had suffered from this relationship. “She broke my heart,” he said simply.
“What!” I cried out. “She broke your heart?” I said astounded. ‘Was this guy on drugs?’ I thought to myself. The entire town of Manipal said something else and he was convinced about something else. ‘Delusional!’ I thought!
But Mohit continued his story. “She had told me that she didn’t believe in pre marital sex. And I had let the matter go. But then one day, she came to me and said that she hadn’t been entirely truthful to me. I was concerned because despite the fact that we both had tried to let the matter of a live-in relationship go, things had still been a little awkward between us. I told her that I was never going to force her into anything she didn’t want to because I loved her more than she could even imagine. And then-she just looked at me teary eyed and said that it wasn’t the fact that she was uncomfortable with the idea of pre-marital sex. She wasn’t. She believed that if she was convinced that she had found the right guy-then she wouldn’t mind sleeping with him before marriage. I still remember hear her say those words and feeling confused as to what she actually meant. For a moment my brain had stopped working. And then,” he said now tears almost in a monotonous tone, “ she said that she wasn’t sure if I was that right guy and hence…and hence…she couldn’t.” He finished almost breaking down reliving those memories with each one pricking more than the previous one.
“And…you felt betrayed?” I added.
“To me-her saying that she wasn’t sure I was the right guy was as good as her telling that it would never work between us. Because I had been so sure that she was the one. And because I had been so sure that she felt the same way that to realize that she didn’t…that she still had doubts about relationship-I just fell like I had been broken into a thousand pieces. I realize now that I maybe took it harder than I should have-that she didn’t mean to say that she didn’t love me but just that she wasn’t ready yet. But for me-at that time it was as good as being told that I wasn’t good enough to live anymore. I didn’t feel betrayed-no…that would be too harsh a word. I just felt not good enough for her. I felt that maybe she had been hoping to find someone better than me and that she had unfortunately been stuck with me in some sort of curse on her by the universe. And that’s why I felt hurt. That she was obliging me by being in this relationship without actually wanting to be in it. So I did what I felt at that time was the only way to teach her a lesson for taking me for a ride all this while. For hoping to find someone better while dating me as just some sort of exercise-almost as she was having pity on me. And so…I broke up with her.”
There was an uneasy silence as Mohit finally exhaled a breath of air as he if he had been too caught up reliving those memories to even breathe. I looked around for a moment as if there was someone else in the room but to my relief there was no one. I don’t know why I did that. Maybe because I wasn’t sure what to make of the story that had just been narrated to me or maybe simply because I just didn’t know how I should react to his story. I felt a bit sympathetic towards Mohit for what he had been through but that in no way justified what he had done. There was no doubt he was horribly wrong in what he had done but the penance he showed for it almost made me believe that maybe…just maybe I had been a bit harsh on him. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I had made him out to be. And maybe he did deserve atleast forgivness for the sincerity he showen now.
“Man!” I said after a while. “You have issues.”
Mohit smiled. “I know.”
“It doesn’t make you right in any way though. You still did a horrible thing,” I said.
“I know that too,” Mohit answered.
I was about to say something when suddenly there was a huge commotion in the hallway almost as if a group of people were issuing battle cries. I turned towards the door to see what was happening but before I could register anything, a group of men ran into the house-shouting and screaming as if they had come to a war. The men were shouting ‘Halla Bol’ as they entered the house and were carrying bats, hockey sticks, chains, belts and anything else they could use as a weapon. I immediately cowered down trying to hide from these seemingly unruly men until I looked up and found that I recognized almost all of them. Heck-I did recognize all of them. There was Rishabh holding a bat and hitting anything he could find in sight. Aarav was swishing a belt in the air acting as if he had come to a martial arts show and trying to impress the judges. There were my other friends and people who were well-just good at breaking bones and who I had made acquaintance with over football matches or just drinking competitions. And leading the pack was Virat-wearing a white striped cotton shirt which he had deliberately kept open to show his vest within and perhaps his manliness. The shir was folded upto his elbow and the color was raised apparently all in order to show his brand of Bhai giri. Trust Virat to go over board. He had come to fight and he wasn’t going to do it without being in the proper get up.
As soon as he had entered he saw Mohit and ran towards him almost giving him a spine buster to the floor. Mohit-still bruising from yesterday;s fight and having the day lights scared out of him didn’t even get a chance to prepare for the onslaught. He went down in the force of Virat’s weight. Virat the pulled him up and punched him right in the face before screaming-“Tell me where you have hidden Rahul, you son of a bitch. Or else I swear you ain’t leaving the house till I break all the bones in your body!” The crowd behind gave a huge roar of approval by banging their weapons on the dining table.
Virat held Mohit by the throat and pushed him towards the wall. “Tell me where he is!” Virat screamed. The crowd screamed with him.
Mohit tried to open his mouth but Virat was holding his throat too tightly to let him speak at all. He tried to lift his hand and made some signs but Virat was looking only at Mohit’s face. “Alright you son of a bitch!” Virat screamed after he didn’t get any answer from Mohit which was more due to Virat than anything else. Virat took a posture similar to Aamir Khan in Mangal Pandey before for the final fight and faced his supposed ‘disciples.’ “Tonight!” he screamed at them as they all looked bewildered unaware that there was supposed to be a speech involved in the show too. This was going to be good. “We have come to free a friend. Free him from one of the greatest tyrants that Manipal has ever known!” Oh My God! I thought to myself. He was actually going to do this. “From a man whose oppression has spread far and wide!” Every person in the room was looking at each other wondering what on earth was happening. Some one even started scratching his hair in this confusion. “And today!” Virat continued his monologue, “We have come to end this oppression.” The eyes of every person in the room jus grew wider and wider in shock and confusion.
I decided that if I didn’t put an end this now, quite a few people could be jumping from the balcony today. And I just couldn’t risk that. “Virat!” I slowly said as he continued his monologue. A few heads turned. Virat stopped midway in a sentence and looked in my direction. He stared at me as if he had seen a ghost and I smiled and waved at him. Then, just as I had expected, he screamed-“Rahulllllllll!! Thank God you are here.” Thank God he didn’t come hugging me and taking me in his arms. Instead he grabbed Mohit tightly by the throat and looking at me said, “What did this bastard do to you? Just tell me what this bastard did so that I can cut him up and sell his parts to the meat market!”
“I am fine Virat,” I answered smiling.
“You sure?” Virat said looking a bit surprised. “Because you can just say the word and this guy is mince meat!” he said indicating towards Mohit. As if to support Virat’s claims, the remaining people in the room held their weapons alogt in the air and roared.
Mohit continued to struggle and tried to free himself. God, how I wish I could tell Virat to strangle the guy to death. But murder still remained a criminal offence punishable by law in India. We had to do something about the laws of our country!
“Its ok, Virat!” I said reluctantly. “I think you should let go of him now!” I said indicating towards Mohit. “He just provided me first aid!”
“That’s it?” Virat said looking stunned as he released Mohit from his grasp. “He provided you first aids?”
“Yeah!” I answered. “And a little bit of scotch!” I added just for fun.
“Scotch?” Virat said and every one’s head turned towards me. If there was one thing that could turn more heads of boys than the mention of a mini skirted chick-then it’s the mention of imported alcohol. And scotch was almost on top of that list.
“Yeah!” I said smiling at each of the faces. They were all looking at me expectantly waiting to disclose the location of the hidden treasure. I though had no such intentions. “How did you know I was here?” I finally asked.
“I met Anjali at KC!” Virat said looking at me. “I didn’t remember much from yesterday night except that we had got drunk and you had been in a fight. She saw me and told me that you were at Mohit Bansal’s place if I was looking for you. And well-I just made sure I had the cavalry with me when I came to rescue you.” He looked around impressively at the men behind him as if he was a general of a victorious infantry beaming proudly at his soldiers.
“Well-you had nothing to worry about,” I answered Virat. “Mohit was just helping me out and being nice to me after beating me to pulp.”
“I can see that,” Virat said looking at my stitches.
Mohit stood in one corner-completely silent at the sight of all these guy with weapons in their hands. He didn’t want to say anything that could piss any one of them off. He could have taken on one of them maybe…but all of them and with weapons-not a chance in hell.
“Let’s leave then,” Virat said coming towards me and giving me a hand.
“No!” I said looking up at Virat. Virat seemed surprised. “I have some unfinished business here,” I said looking at Mohit.
Initially Virat didn’t seem happy by the deceision but then he smiled and said, “I can understand that! You want us to stay in case anything happens?” he said glaring at Mohit.
“No!” I answered. “It’s fine! Rest assured-I think we are done with physical fights for now!”
Virat didn’t seem to agree with me. He wanted to stay if not for me-then for enhancing his own reputation as a fighter. “You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah-pretty much!” I then looked at the rest of the crown. “Thanks for coming guys! But I can take it from here!”
The crowd seemed disappointed that they had not been able to break a few bones. Despite that, they all began to turn to leave the house.
Virat turned back and walked towards Mohit. Mohit almost cowered down at the sight of him coming towards him. But Virat just extended his hand and very awkwardly said, “Thanks for helping my friend!” Mohit seemed unsure what to make of the extended hand at first but then decided to take it. “You are welcome,” he answered hesitatingly.
“And sorry for the whole-you know…” he said talking about his violence toward Mohit. “The whole ‘I will kill you if you don’t tell me where is Rahul’ thing,” he managed to complete.
“Not a problem,” Mohit sad touching his neck and a look of fear still in his eyes.
Virat turned to leave and was almost down the hallway when he turned again and walked upto Mohit. Mohit cowered down again. “Um..about the scotch…?” he said looking at Mohit.
Mohit indicated towards the mini bar on the wall. Virat saw the mini bar and his eyes lit up as if he had just inherited the combined wealth of the Ambani brothers. Every other head turned towards the wall too and then immediately towards Virat. Virat looked at Aarav and nodded. Aarav moved towards the mini bar. Virat turned back to Mohit and said, ‘if you don’t mind we’ll be taking the scotch with us. Feeling a bith thirsty after all the screaming!”
“All yours,” Mohit said still scared. Aarav picked up the two bottles of scotch on the shelf and handed one to Rishabh.before nodding at Virat. Now every one in the room was looking at the two bottles of scotch.
“Thanks!” Virat said offering his hand once again. “Welcome!” Mohit answered in a shrill voice taking the hand.
Virat turned back and headed towards the door. “Lets leave boys,” he said grabbing the bottle of scotch from Aarav’s hand and holding it like a prized jewel. Everyone else began to leave Mohit’s flat. Mohit looked on, still reeling from the shock of the entire incident as all of them left. As Virat was about to leave, he came near me and whispering in my ears said, “When I met Anjali, I kinda found her lipstick misplaced a bit from her lips. I was wondering if you had anything to do with that!” Virat then moved his head up again and looked at me smiling. I just didn’t knw how to react but just gave him a sly smile. Damn! I was blushing. I was actually blushing. Virat winked at me and left the house.
“Sorry for that!” I said a few minutes after the gang had left the house.
“Man-you got some friends!” Mohit answered straigtening his hair.
“Yeah!” I smiled. “They care about me!”
“You are lucky then!” Mohit said almost smiling.
“I know!” I said. Wow-we actually managed 3 lines of conversation without being nasty to each other. We really were turning a corner here.
“If you know you are lucky-then can I ad vise you something?” Mohit asked.
‘Advise?’ I thought to myself. ‘If by advise he meant since you already have so many good friends why don’t you leave Anjali to me, I swear I was calling the ‘Halla Bol’ gang back. And this time there would be niceties.’
“Depends!” I said trying not to sound hostile.
“On what?”
“On what the advise is?”
“You wanna hear it?”
“I don’t know but I guess I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Don’t worry,” Mohit said, “I am not going to start a monologue here. All I want to tell you is that if you know how lucky you are to have the people in your life that you do-then don’t screw it up.”
“Meaning?” I said confused as to what exactly he meant. He was actually giving me friendly advise here. If this wasn’t a day of surprised-then what was!
Mohit just smiled at me as if hiding a secret that I will unearth soon but wasn’t ready to find out what the secret was yet.
“You will understand soon enough,” Mohit answered. “Now come-I think I should drop you back to the hostel before your friends invade this flat again. I wanna make sure there isn’t another attempt on my life.”
For a few moments there, as I got up from the couch I couldn’t help but smile at what Mohit said. Or perhaps I smiled at Mohit himself. I couldn’t help but wonder that maybe…just maybe Mohit Bansal wasn’t all that bad after all.
As Mohit dropped me back to the hostel, we noticed that the Revels banners were already on display on the various buildings in the campus. Some of the first year students were now spraying the street of Kamath circle with the word ‘REVELS’ and it meant that our cultural festival was now a few days away. It would be my 3rd REVELS and every year, Revels in many ways was the high point of our college days. It means 4 days of holidays and a host of cultural programmes which in those 4 days would be occupy almost every corner of Revels. The highlight of Revels was the fashion show, which meant that there would be a slew of mini skirted chicks walking the ramp and every boy in college would be there to see the Manipal chicks in all their glory. I was no different.
Sheetal was standing in the middle of KC, shouting at the first years to do the job faster and better which didn’t really mean anything because they could have painted the Mona Lisa there and Sheetal still would shout at them. She was just taking advantage of being a senior and that meant you were never satisfied by what the juniors did. It’s just the way the world goes. Those juniors spraying on the street would be doing the same a year from now. So you couldn’t really blame Sheetal.
I asked Mohit to drop me off at KC itself and then walking upto Sheetal, I said, “Who was mad enough to put you in the organizing committee??”
Sheetal turned and said, “Oh shut up! I won’t kill them…promise!” and gave me a hug.
“I hope so,” I answered as she pecked me on the cheek.
As we turned to the bunch of first years toiling under the sun, I said, “so what happens to the fashion show?”
“Nothing,” Sheetal replied. “I am still there, don’t worry.”
“And this?” I asked nodding towards the first years.
“It’s just a favour to Shaunak,” she replied.
“Shaunak who?” I asked
“Shaunak Khatija,” she answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “The man in charge of Revels and our cultural secretary.”
“Aagh!” I feigned ignorance. “Keep me away from the politics.”
“Ha-ha!” she said in mock laughter. “He just needed someone to over look this and and asked me as a favour. I complied.”
“Does he know that you treat the freshies the way Hitler treated Jews?” I asked mocking her.
She turned red. “If I ever do turn into Hitler, Rahul Agarwal, the first person I would be putting in a concentration camp is you.”
“Ouch!” I answered. “So you already have plans of having concentration camps in your reign of terror?”
“Oh Shut up!” she said and hit me on the harm.
“So?” she said looking up at me after a while.
“So what?” I asked.
“You are not gonna tell me?” she asked looking harried.
“Tell you what?” I asked acting puzzled though I had a faint idea what she was referring to.
“Oh-so we are gonna play this game…are we now?” she said though she sounded as if she was getting irritated.
“Play what game?” I asked still acting confused.
She released her hands in frustration and said, “I just don’t believe this. I just can’t believe this.”
“Believe what Sheetal?” I asked seriously
“Nothing…absolutely nothing!” she said now completely irritated and turned towards the first years.
Then suddenly she barked out at one of the first years. “Hey! You!” she screamed and the first years suddenly shivered.
The boy she was pointing to look petrified as he caught Sheetal’s stare. “Me maam?” he asked completely bewildered.
“No jackass! Your freaking Ghost,” she said in complete sarcasm and the guy looked so scared he would pee in his pants any moment. “What’s your name?” she shouted at him.
“V…v..Virat, maam,” he said and I swear to God I was going to die of laughter right there. The guy was dead…just pure dead.
“Oh perfect!” Sheetal said a bit shocked at the co-incidence. Then she balked right up and said, “So Virat-when a senior tells you something, ain’t you supposed to listen?”
“Y…yes maam,” freshie Virat managed to stammer.
“Then why on earth are you chit-chatting with that girl over there?” she asked referring to a cute girl who was spraying next to Virat.
“Wow! She is cute,” I said trying to control my laughter.
“She is a friend maam,” freshie Virat answered.
“Listen sweetheart,” she told Virat with dribbles of sarcasm, “I know you want to get into her pants but this isn’t the place to work on that. If you wanna woo her, make out with her or sleep with her you take her out to a nice little dinner-and not talk to her when you are supposed to be working while you stare at her breasts!”
God! That was cruel even for Sheetal Malhar. She had just nipped in the bud any chance that Virat had romancing that cute girl! Virat looked as if he was going to cry any moment now. The rest of the freshies were just staring completely dumbfounded. “Now get back to work!” she said and Virat ran back as quickly as he could.
“You are so cruel Sheetal,” I said in a serious tone.
“Yeah? Sue me if you want,” she said still furious.
“All because I wouldn’t tell you something?” I asked still not believeing the lashing she had just given to poor Virat.
“Well-that and the fact that his name turns out be Virat!” she said and I almost saw a hint of a smile on her face.
“Haha!” I said now smiling. “I so knew he was getting it once I hear his name.”
“So are you going to tell me or not?” Sheetal asked once again.
“Alright, why don’t you leave these poor kids alone for a while and we will go talk some where,” I said putting my arms around her shoulder.
“I could do that,” she said smiling as she put her arms around mine and we started walking towards the College.
“And what about your new friend Virat?” I asked.
“Oh don’t worry! I will treat him after the work is over and then find out all about that girl he seems so interested in and help him ‘patofy’ her,” she said giving me a grin.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I said, “I knew you weren’t such a bad person Sheetal Malhar.”
She punched me in the arm once again and said, “Shut up! You are still going in the concentration camp!”
Sheetal had been sitting in her room when her door suddenly opened and to her complete shock, standing inside her room was Anjali. She looked hassled, as if she had been bitten by a snake or more likely she had done something horrible wrong and now she just didn’t know how to correct that mistake. She continued standing in the room, not moving an inch, waiting perhaps for Sheetal to say something.
“Anjali?” Sheetal finally said looking at the exorbitant eyes of the girl standing inside her room yet acting as if she was miles away. Which was completely true for Anjali’s mind kept going back to Mohit’s room, to Rahul and the kiss that they had shared. It was a kiss that had been waiting to happen for a long time yet the circumstances in which it happened didn’t help her at all. The kiss reminded her in so many ways of her first and only kiss with Rahul, way back, in that empty street on the very day that Mohit had choosen to break her heart and crush her spirit forever. Or so she had thought.
For quite some time now, that night which for so long had resembled pain and suffering, had now started to bring a smile to her face. For quite sometime now she remembered that day not for the way Mohit had mocked her love and doubted her integrity, but for the way a completely drunk stranger would find her lying on the street and come and kiss her because his mind told him ‘that this was the best way to get her back to consciousness.’ She would smile at the thought, would smile at Rahul telling her the reason he had kissed her as he ruffled his hair and sheepishly smiled himself.
For sometime now she was sure she was falling in love again. Rahul had entered her life like an angel and had managed to mend her heart, which she though would be impossible. She thought she could never love again the way she loved Mohit but to her complete and utter surprise she had found herself falling for Rahul from the night that they had taken their first walk at KMC Greens. It shouldn’t have been thay way for she really did love Mohit but Rahul’s disarming honesty was so charming that everyday she tried to reason with herself that she couldn’t be falling for a guy so soon, the more she fellin love with him.
She had known about his reputation, about his break-up’s and had tried to use that as an excuse to distance herself from him as much as possible but the truth was she knew that there was more to thin just what the college thought about him. And the way he responded to her, the way he let her in his life, letting her through all his defenses, sheknew that deep inside Rahul was just a child looking for that same love which his mom had shown him and which his mom hersef was unable to get.
She remembered him having a panic attack the first time he had called her and she had foubd it so cute that she had smiled days after remembering the incident. It was there that she first noted alarmingly that she was thinking and smiling about Rahul way more than she actually should. She tried to put her defenses up but somehow she couldn’t help smile everytime the name Rahul crossed her mind. She would just be sitting in the mess, having lunch when she would suddenly start thinking about one of her meetings with Rahul and would be lost in them way after lunch. Sometimes she would stop eating while thinking about Rahul while sometimes she would continue eating from an empty plate, oblivious to everything around her.
She remembered Virat telling him about how he had been unable to gather the courage to even dial her number the first time and she had smiled for hours after that. The fact that a guy who was so famous for his flirtatious ways couldn’t even dial her number or gather the courage to call her out of sheer nervousness-there really couldn’t be anything cuter than that. She would be among her friends when suddenly the image of Rahul trying to dial her number would come up and she would break out laughing completely to the bewilderment of her friends.
When Rahul had jumped inside the Girls hostel to celebrate her birthday, she thought that would be it. That would be the night when he would finally confess and tell her that he loved her. He had seemed so close to doing it so many times now that she was sure he wouldn’t hesitate any longer. Everytime he seemed to finally let her know about his feelings, something always held him back. She later realized it was the fear of losing her that kept him from confessing his love. She wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t lose her, that she would always be with him. All he had to do was just tell her that he loved her. Yet everytime he came close, that fear inside him grew and the confession never came.
And yet he did this to her. Of all the people, he did this to her. Judging her even without listening to her. Leaving her when she had needed him the most. She had come for advise that evening, for comfort and all she got was a heart break. And as he walked away from her, she felt a little bit of herself die inside her. She felt the part of her that could love die.
She couldn’t control the tears anymore and hugged Sheetal for support. Sheetal was taken aback but realized all was not right here. Something had happened today and if Rahul had somehow managed to hurt this girl, then she wasn’t going to forgive him either. She had heard about the Malpe beach incident and she had been waiting to get a chance to knock his brain back into his head but it seemed that he had somehow managed to make matters worse even before she got the chance to make them better. She took Anjali in her arms and stroked her shoulder with sympathy. She let Anjali cry for a bit as she realized that perhaps right now she needed to cry more than anything else......
No comments:
Post a Comment